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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?